Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Dead kid diet

Since Ailish died food really hasn't had much of a place in my day.  I eat when I get hungry which is not that often and the quantity varies.  I was no waif a year ago but the inevitable weight loss was obvious.  I remain sturdy and strong and there is little concern that I am wasting away I assure you.  I have fallen in the last year, a number of times as the dog has tried to murder me, my croc wearing feet slipping in whatever the current spill was and the obvious problem being that I am a klutz.  It's a genetic thing, researched and confirmed by my siblings affected with the same affliction.  My point is I have broken nothing so I'm assuming osteoporosis has not set in so I figure I'm good.

It has annoyed me no end over the last year when people have not just commented on my weight loss but gone overboard in congratulating me on such a great success.  Normally when folks loose weight it is considered complimentary when your efforts are recognized.  People want to know how much you have lost, how long it has taken you and what 'plan' you might have used.  Size should not be an issue.  Everyone has value and I respect you for who you are as a person and nothing else.  If you are unhappy with your size and want to change I applaud any work you want to do to make yourself feel better.  I still like you either way.  I do appreciate however making a good self deprecating joke regarding the size of my behind or any other part of me.  Really, who wouldn't?

When a person has suffered the loss of a child or anyone they were close to for that matter and there is a notable change in girth one might, in using common sense assume that grief might have something to do with it.  The people that have made the comments to me all have known my daughter died.  I can't figure out why they would congratulate me on slimming down instead of asking me how things are going and not in the generic way but really want to know 'how things are going'.  In all honesty I didn't want that attention either however to me that would be the appropriate question instead of the ones I was being asked.

The reason I bring this up today is that once again comments were made about my size.  I have not changed much since the early months after 'IT' happened so I wasn't prepared for the "oh wow! You look  blah blah blah.  Are you using some sort of plan?"  My answer was completely without filter and I am not ashamed.  I made it without malice or snideness of tone.  I simply said "ya it"s called my kid died diet".

Really what else was I to say?

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